Strawberry Jam and the Endless Sorrow

Greetings, my Insomnibakers.

It’s been far, far too long since I’ve written. So much has happened, so much is different.

The last few months have easily been the worst of my life.  Remember My Ex?  THE Ex?  Well, he died.  Suddenly, and tragically.  The last time I saw him alive, we were making out on the corner of Lafayette and Fulton after seeing a movie at BAM, having another argument about how and why a relationship between us could never work, interspersed with kisses and sweet nothings.   That night he nuzzled my neck and said something intensely sweet, kissed my cheek and said something intensely vulgar, then walked down the steps of the G train and out of my life forever.

A few weeks later, we commenced to have our apocalyptic fight described in my previous post, and he ceased speaking to me.  One of us was often ceasing to speak to the other. We were so dramatic.  It usually only took a month or two before we would make up, but he died before we did.

In the weeks following his death, I was carried around by my friends and family like a pile of wet laundry.  Useless and unbelieving.  It’s only over the past few days, thanks to a combination of an extraordinary support system and incredible family, a fabulous therapist, and some high-quality anti-depressants, have I begun to feel something like my old self again.

A bunch of other stuff happened also, but it’s not appropriate for Le Blogosphere.

My appetite had been all but destroyed, though it’s returning.   One of the few things I was able to eat consistently over this period of near-constant weeping has been freshly baked biscuits, and strawberry preserves.  It tastes of nostalgia and peace.   I’ll be tending to a friend tomorrow whilst I telecommute to work, and I’ve promised her fresh baked goods.  I thought some freshly made preserves would go down well with some aforementioned freshly baked goods.  It will be a day of funky fresh eatin’.

  1. I took about 2 pounds of gigantic strawberries, and cut them up into little pieces.
  2. I smushed them all up into a heavy bottomed saucepan.
  3. I added about a 1 1/2 cup sugar, and the juice of half a lemon.  All the recipes I saw online used an ungodly amount of sugar (FOUR CUPS?!?!?), but trust me it’s not needed.
  4. Over low heat, I stirred together the strawberries, sugar, and lemon juice until the sugar was entirely dissolved.
  5. I raised the heat to supernova, and stirred fairly constantly as the strawberry concoction bubbled away.
  6. For about 15 minutes I stirred and looked on in dismay, as what looked like gloppy strawberry juice adamantly refused to come together.
  7. Around the 20 minute mark, the consistency changed completely.  The color changed from light and juicy to a deep red.  The larger chunks of strawberry fruit began to break down into what looked recognizably like preserves.
  8. I put a teaspoon of the preserves onto a plate I had placed in the freezer, and put it back into the freezer.  After 30 seconds, I ran my finger through the preserves.  It was nice and jelled.
  9. This meant it was ready!  Huzzah!
  10. I poured the bulk of the preserves into a Mason jar for the next day’s eating, and then about half a cup into a smaller bowl for immediate eating.
  11. I devoured the jam with a few tablespoons of peanut butter right out of the bowl.
  12. OH DELICIOUS DAY.  What an intense strawberry flavor.


VERDICT:  This is some INTENSE strawberry flavor, and makes for some very good eating.  It kinda whallops you over the head with pure strawberried power, and leaves you immediately wanting more.  Can’t wait to try again with different berries– a fantastic experiment to raise the spirits.  


About sleeplessbaker

Your average world traveling, ukulele playing, bawdy songwriting, Muppet loving, curve-rocking, formerly drunk-ass actor-singer-model-producer-blogger on a quest to get a handle on life-skills she should have learned in elementary school.
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One Response to Strawberry Jam and the Endless Sorrow

  1. Pingback: Let He Who Is Without Sin Throw the First Scone | A Bit of Sweetness for the Sleepless

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