It’s New Year’s Eve-Eve! Twice as eve-ier as your normal night, which makes for twice the desserts to bake, and twice the blogs to blog. It’s late, I only have 3 episodes of Dexter left in Season 2, and, as per usual, butter is softening.
My thought tonight was to make Pumpkin Chocolate Cheesecake Bars, because, why in the name of all that is good wouldn’t you? Because I got home too late to buy pumpkin from the grocery store, as it turns out. But I had already bought Oreos and cheesecake, sooo . . . Oreo Truffles. Super-easy. Super-awesome. This is the type of dessert that will haunt your dreams and take over your life. Which is why you should make them early and often.
I also have zucchini in my fridge lying around being useless, when I used half of a small one to make an omelet yesterday. Initially, my thought was to make zucchini bread, though a quick tour through Epicurious brought me this recipe, for a Chocolate Zucchini Cake. Highly appealing, as it has three major Domestic Goddess points in its favor– 1) It uses up a leftover vegetable, 2) I have everything I need for the recipe (except for buttermilk, but I can substitute plain yogurt), and 3) ummm, did you see the part where it has a buttload of chocolate?
The chocolatezucchinicake also called for room temperature butter, meaning more Dexter as both butter and cream cheese softens. Very exciting things are happening with Dex’s Midnight Runners, but I don’t want too much time to go by before I start cooking. It’s already late, and the zucchini cake takes an hour. That will come in my next blog.
But first, THE TRUFFLES. Here’s the thing about these truffles. The first time I had them, they were made for a theme party by my fantastically talented friend Chris Vaughn when we worked together in Macau (long story). The night before this particular party, I had just been dumped by my boyfriend of a few years– so I chased a bottle of vodka with a bottle of tequila with a couple PBR’s and jello shots. Most of the night is a horrific, boozy haze. I don’t remember dancing on tables. I don’t remember hitting on my boss. I don’t remember crying on the balcony, or stripping in the kitchen, or getting home. But I remember the truffles.
I’m halving the recipe, as I really don’t need 4 dozen Oreo truffles in my life (ridiculous as that may sound).
- I used two bars of Scharffen Berger Bittersweet chocolate. Put them in a small bowl and nuked ’em until almost melted (2 min for me), then stirred until they were fully melted.
- Took half a package of Oreos, and put them in a bowl. I crunched them up using a jar, which was immensely satisfying.
- Put in half a package (4 oz.) of cream cheese, and just looked at it. It’s like looking at a fresh pile of snow before crushing down with your boot. It’s like proof that God loves you.
- I mushed the two ingredients together using my hands (yes, I washed them first). This was messy. And the instinct to plunge my face into the bowl and just gorge all Homer Simpson-style was strong. But I didn’t!
- Again using my hands, I rolled the sticky mess into bite-size truffles.
- I plunked them into the melted chocolate in batches of four, and then used two forks to swirl them around and transfer them to a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper.
- Once I finished, I decided to make full recipe. What on earth was I going to do with a half a package of cream cheese and Oreos? More importantly, what could I possibly do with half a package of cream cheese and Oreos that would be half as delicious as these truffles?
- I ran out of melted chocolate halfway through the process, so I rolled the rest of them in cocoa powder.*
- I sprinkled the whole thing with a few grinds from the ol’ sea salt mill. Why did I do this? If you need to ask, then maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore. I mean, I still like you, I just don’t like like you.
This is what I was left with.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE WONDERFUL.
No. No you haven’t. Until you make them for yourself.
Sweet dreams, y’all! I’m off to make Chocolate Zucchini Cake.**
*If there’s one thing I want people to take away from this blog, it’s that you shouldn’t worry about running out of things, or fucking up. Most things are easily saved, and in the end, you can still have something delicious. And if you fuck up? Then you’ve learned something, and can take steps to not fuck up the next time. This took me YEARS to get over. But don’t fear the kitchen, and don’t fear fucking up. In this particular instance, it left me with about 4-5 truffles dusted with cocoa powder instead of covered in chocolate. This is all good.
** I realize that I’ve gotten through this whole post without making a joke about my Chocolate Salty Balls. I consider this a great failing, and really, I feel I should apologize. Not just to you guys, but to myself.